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Jerry Dirmann Ministries - Choosing a Mate

Faithbuilders Teaching by Pastor Jerry Dirmann – Choosing a Mate

Extracts taken from the Handout.

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Introduction to choosing a spouse.

A partner is another dimension of a spouse. If you are a man this is referring to a woman as a spouse. If you are a woman this is referring to a man as a spouse In this society people are wanting to know why they cannot love someone of their choice.
God has parameters and inside those parameters is called righteousness and outside the parameters its called sin. Here is why God hates SIN. Because ALL sin destroys people. Sin kills

It’s like a teen age child at age 18 decides he wants to drink POISON and when the parents say ‘Don’t do that’ they want to know ‘Why, I want to do this?’

God has a unique perceptive, He is the manufacture of the universe. Sodom and Gomorrah is found in Genesis, it’s not new. Gods laws are true, every time we violate them there are consequences. But God will not change the truth.

Pastors play the role of the paperboy, we drive by and deliver the news, we have no editing rights.

Many preachers are changing the headlines and giving the people what they want to hear. They are keeping the truth from them, truth that will set them free and launch them into fulfillment.

You were not born homosexual. That is a lie, we need to pray for our society.

Proverbs 18: 22
22 He who finds a wife finds a good thing, And obtains favor from the Lord.

Psalm 84: 11b
No good thing will He withhold From those who walk uprightly.

We are opening the Word of God and the Lord is speaking. The breath of God is coming into this place.
You are no less than anyone else because you are single.

Finding a spouse, a good thing, is to be a blessing from God, obtaining favor from the Lord. But every marriage does not turn out to be a good thing

Proverbs 30: 21 – 22a
21 For three things the earth is perturbed, Yes, for four it cannot bear up:
22 For a servant when he reigns,

1. A person promoted before they had the character and competence to function well in that leadership position, and people have to server under them, and they are just not there yet in their leadership, that does not mean that you don’t have to server there with a proper attitude, and be submissive, but its irritating.

Proverbs 30: 22b
. A fool when he is filled with food,

Proverbs 30: 23a
23 A hateful woman when she is married, And a maidservant who succeeds her mistress.

3. A hateful woman when she is married. Why not just a hateful woman?
Because some things don’t always get better after you get married. This will perturb you!

Proverbs 11: 22
22 As a ring of gold in a swine’s snout, So is a lovely woman who lacks discretion.

This is speaking to our society, we look at the exterior, magazines, internet, adds, movies, commercials. All encourage you to check her out.

Guys have a tendency to date someone that their friends will think is beautiful. There is a fear that your friends will disapprove of your choice. Your friends don’t have to live with her!

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Psalms 37: 4
4 Delight yourself also in the Lord,
And He shall give you the desires of your heart.

When you delight yourself in the Lord, you start to see things differently. God knows your heart. As a ring of gold in a swine’s snout, is like looking at the external and minimizing the internal. Checking out the ring, not noticing it’s connected to a pig.

After the honeymoon season wears off, all of the ugliness inside so exudes out, you can’t even see the exterior anymore. Big fat pig, little gold ring!

If you choose someone that is willing to cross the line before the marriage, then after marriage there is no trust. Embedded into their relationship and hearts is an automatic response. Patterns do not change, compromises do not change, so you may be chosen today over his spouse, but once you are married then you are the spouse. God can take any situation, any broken pieces and repair the broken pot.

Proverbs 27: 7
7 A satisfied soul loathes the honeycomb,
But to a hungry soul every bitter thing is sweet.

Ever eaten a big meal, and then a friend suggests going out for a meal at your favourite restaurant but you are full, you are not attracted to the idea. But if you haven’t eaten all day and the friend suggests going to a restaurant that you don’t even like and all of a sudden it seems attractive.

A hungry soul, someone lonely, someone from a deficient home, with no love, causes young people to reach out. Like a vacuum cleaner, it sucks up any object, the crumbs and your diamond ring.

It’s like a clock is ticking away, the pressure is building. ‘All the good ones have been taken.’ So we justify the bitterness, ‘No it’s not that bad’ and jump at any opportunity, you are running out of time.

God knows who you are and who and where your mate is. Don’t swallow a bitter pill. Recognize your vulnerability and do not treat it as normal, but bring it to the Lord. Don’t be tempted to compromise and leap at someone that may not be His choice. Be patient, God gives the best to those who wait and let Him make the choice. You have to be careful, even somebody that is wonderful, but not for you it is a trap, a decoy.

Proverbs 24: 3 - 4
3 Through wisdom a house is built,
And by understanding it is established;
4 By knowledge the rooms are filled
With all precious and pleasant riches.

Love is wonderful, but that is not what makes a marriage last.

Proverbs 19: 22a
2 What is desired in a man is kindness,

Proverbs 19: 22b
And a poor man is better than a liar.

Proverbs 31: 10
10 Who can find a virtuous wife?
For her worth is far above rubies.

Notice she (King Lemuel’s mother) did not say a beautiful wife. A virtuous wife is not just everywhere, you have to find her, and God knows where she is
For her worth is far above rubies.
Some men tap into vulnerable wives

Proverbs 24: 27
27 Prepare your outside work,
Make it fit for yourself in the field;
And afterward build your house.

God was saying, learn to depend on me, look to me. Not to friends, or girlfriends etc

The Lord knows you, and the situation and He can be trusted. Delight yourself in the Lord and then make a list Maybe the delay is that God still has to work things out in your life so that you become right to comply with the requirements on their list.
Maybe it’s time to refrain from embracing
Have a season when you fall in love with Jesus

The world’s way is going from one relationship to another. Your heart loves and connects and falls apart.

This is the Lord’s best, you will never regret doing it God’s way


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Information sourced from Pastor Jerry Dirmann Founder and Senior Pastor of The Rock
Visit his website for more great resources

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